There is a genetic condition known as symbrachydactyly, which is an absence of fingers. That’s not funny…not at all. However, the story I’m about the share with you is funny because it involves a buffoon, a Japanese steakhouse, a person with symbrachydactyly, and a conversation about engagement rings.
Imagine if you will…a buffoon. I’m sure everyone has had the horrors of experiencing one at least one time in their life. It was years before I experienced one but one did pop up. I hope he’s the last one. Unfortunately, he was a manager where I work. He’s no longer here…he left to go to Idaho somewhere. I think maybe a buffoon corral or a buffoon asylum. The important thing is that he’s gone…
Okay now imagine knowing a buffoon, working with that buffoon, and now traveling with that buffoon out of state. Oh yeah…why they ever let this man out of his idiot cage I’ll never know.
Now imagine knowing a buffoon, working with that buffoon, traveling with that buffoon out of state, and throw in the tasty little tidbit that the buffoon’s wife has symbrachydachtyly. That’s right…she was missing a few fingers. Oh yeah…we’re going there….
We were attending meetings on site in Arkansas and one night we all met for a bite of dinner at the Kobe Japanese Steakhouse in Little Rock. The group consisted of me, three other coworkers, and…the buffoon. Unfortunately there were five other innocent, Arkansan bystanders seated at the table with us. Those poor, poor people…
Everything started off well until one of the guys started talking about an ex-girlfriend for whom he had purchased an engagement ring. Unfortunately, they broke up before he gave it to her. Buffoon, who was sitting at the middle of the table hears this and yells out, “I didn’t have to buy my wife an engagement ring because she’s got no fingers!!” While saying this he flung his hands about wildly and had a big goofy grin on his face.
Oh…my….God….we sat there stunned into silence. The strangers seated with us all looked like they’d seen a python swallow a small child. The next couple of minutes were horribly uncomfortable. I pondered the idea of jabbing a chopstick into my eye so I could leave right away!! I guess he didn’t think he was loud enough or was upset that we didn’t all jump up and cheer because he once again flung his hands around wildly and yelled even louder, “SHE’S GOT NO FINGERS!!” Hmmm...maybe I should have just jabbed the chopstick into his eye.
By this point it was just downright ridiculous and I had to fight the giggles. I kept thinking, “Don’t giggle!! Don’t giggle!!” I started thinking of horrible things….car accidents, people drowning, dead babies. Finally, I got myself under control.
We scarfed down the food to get the hell out of there. Thank God he had driven over separately because I think I would have hitchhiked back to the hotel to avoid him. I think we might have actually burned rubber leaving the parking lot to get away from him.
When we were safely closed up in our rental car, one of my co-workers said, “Well I guess since the buffoon’s wife’s got no fingers, a hand job is out of the question at their house?” I looked over at him and replied, “Yep, I guess it’s exclusively self service for him.” We looked at one another and fell out laughing. It was horrible, it was funny, it was horribly funny….it was an evening spent with a buffoon….
Chick out….
Imagine if you will…a buffoon. I’m sure everyone has had the horrors of experiencing one at least one time in their life. It was years before I experienced one but one did pop up. I hope he’s the last one. Unfortunately, he was a manager where I work. He’s no longer here…he left to go to Idaho somewhere. I think maybe a buffoon corral or a buffoon asylum. The important thing is that he’s gone…
Okay now imagine knowing a buffoon, working with that buffoon, and now traveling with that buffoon out of state. Oh yeah…why they ever let this man out of his idiot cage I’ll never know.
Now imagine knowing a buffoon, working with that buffoon, traveling with that buffoon out of state, and throw in the tasty little tidbit that the buffoon’s wife has symbrachydachtyly. That’s right…she was missing a few fingers. Oh yeah…we’re going there….
We were attending meetings on site in Arkansas and one night we all met for a bite of dinner at the Kobe Japanese Steakhouse in Little Rock. The group consisted of me, three other coworkers, and…the buffoon. Unfortunately there were five other innocent, Arkansan bystanders seated at the table with us. Those poor, poor people…
Everything started off well until one of the guys started talking about an ex-girlfriend for whom he had purchased an engagement ring. Unfortunately, they broke up before he gave it to her. Buffoon, who was sitting at the middle of the table hears this and yells out, “I didn’t have to buy my wife an engagement ring because she’s got no fingers!!” While saying this he flung his hands about wildly and had a big goofy grin on his face.
Oh…my….God….we sat there stunned into silence. The strangers seated with us all looked like they’d seen a python swallow a small child. The next couple of minutes were horribly uncomfortable. I pondered the idea of jabbing a chopstick into my eye so I could leave right away!! I guess he didn’t think he was loud enough or was upset that we didn’t all jump up and cheer because he once again flung his hands around wildly and yelled even louder, “SHE’S GOT NO FINGERS!!” Hmmm...maybe I should have just jabbed the chopstick into his eye.
By this point it was just downright ridiculous and I had to fight the giggles. I kept thinking, “Don’t giggle!! Don’t giggle!!” I started thinking of horrible things….car accidents, people drowning, dead babies. Finally, I got myself under control.
We scarfed down the food to get the hell out of there. Thank God he had driven over separately because I think I would have hitchhiked back to the hotel to avoid him. I think we might have actually burned rubber leaving the parking lot to get away from him.
When we were safely closed up in our rental car, one of my co-workers said, “Well I guess since the buffoon’s wife’s got no fingers, a hand job is out of the question at their house?” I looked over at him and replied, “Yep, I guess it’s exclusively self service for him.” We looked at one another and fell out laughing. It was horrible, it was funny, it was horribly funny….it was an evening spent with a buffoon….
Chick out….
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