Who knew you couldn't wake a baby with an airhorn or pick one up by its head?????
Chick out...
The Single Gal
- The Single Gal
- I'm 42...I'm single...I'm fabulous!!!! I'm also crazy, nutty, quirky, bitchy, and full of humor. Come on in and get ready to laugh. My single friends and I lead lives full of laughter. We're not depressed because we're single...we celebrate it!!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Why girls don't hike
I just got back home from a wonderful 4 day Girlfriends Getaway at Deep Creek Lake in Maryland. We had so much fun and laughed so much that we were all in physical pain. I learned a few things on this trip but the main lesson I learned is why girls really shouldn't go hiking. Here’s what happened...
Story #1:
Willow is a woman of fabulous footwear. She would rather look good than be comfortable and will tell you so. The way she sees it Ibuprofen was created so she could wear fabulous yet uncomfortable shoes.
What kind of shoes do you think Willow would wear on a hike to look at waterfalls?
Boots? Nope!
Sneakers? Nope!
Maybe a pair of $70 mules with 2 ½ inch heels? Hell to the yes!!!! Her new motto is “Have heels will hike!!!”
How do I know they cost her $70? Well, she only told us about 70 times as she teetered around in the woods on them.
Lesson: Always check Willow’s footwear before heading into the woods for a hike.
Story #2:
Gia is an absolutely down to earth and hilarious woman who suffers from giggling incontinence. You understand what I’m saying right? She giggles and she pees…not just a dab either—her bladder spews urine like a volcano spews lava.
Near the end of our hike Gia decided that she wanted to have a somewhat prophetic photo of herself pretending like she was peeing in the woods. Yeah…all the uppity chicks are doing it these days.
She squatted down beside a tree and yelled, “Hey take my picture!” Undoubtedly, she squatted in the wrong place because a twig nearly went up her ass and snapped off.
Guess what happened then. Gia started to giggle….and pee….
Lesson: Never let Gia pretend to pee because she doesn’t know how to pretend.
Lessons learned!!!
Chick out…
Story #1:
Willow is a woman of fabulous footwear. She would rather look good than be comfortable and will tell you so. The way she sees it Ibuprofen was created so she could wear fabulous yet uncomfortable shoes.
What kind of shoes do you think Willow would wear on a hike to look at waterfalls?
Boots? Nope!
Sneakers? Nope!
Maybe a pair of $70 mules with 2 ½ inch heels? Hell to the yes!!!! Her new motto is “Have heels will hike!!!”
How do I know they cost her $70? Well, she only told us about 70 times as she teetered around in the woods on them.
Lesson: Always check Willow’s footwear before heading into the woods for a hike.
Story #2:
Gia is an absolutely down to earth and hilarious woman who suffers from giggling incontinence. You understand what I’m saying right? She giggles and she pees…not just a dab either—her bladder spews urine like a volcano spews lava.
Near the end of our hike Gia decided that she wanted to have a somewhat prophetic photo of herself pretending like she was peeing in the woods. Yeah…all the uppity chicks are doing it these days.
She squatted down beside a tree and yelled, “Hey take my picture!” Undoubtedly, she squatted in the wrong place because a twig nearly went up her ass and snapped off.
Guess what happened then. Gia started to giggle….and pee….
Lesson: Never let Gia pretend to pee because she doesn’t know how to pretend.
Lessons learned!!!
Chick out…
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