The other day I saw someone driving a Jaguar and it jogged my memory to what I thought my present life would be like when I envisioned it about 20 years ago.The year was 1990. I was a goofball trying to find my way through college. Originally, I had decided that if I had to go to college I would only get a 2 year degree. I opted for a data processing program at a local community college. I can tell you this much about data processing…it was boring and I hated it and to this day I still have no idea what data processors actually do.
After a year of that nonsense, I went ahead and switched to science because I decided I wanted to be a physical therapist. The same idiot that hated school so badly that she only wanted to go to college for 2 years decided she wanted to go for 7 more. I was a stupid asshole but woowee zowee…I was going to be rolling in the moolah and that’s all that mattered!!!! My dream car was a Jaguar. Oh wait…I can take it one step cheesier…it was going to have vanity plates….”JAGGED”. Dear Jesus! How ridiculous but I thought it was killer awesome!!! Just like big hair, stirrup pants, and Milli Vanilli….KILLER AWESOME!!!
There was one drawback to the whole physical therapist thing. Did you know that physical therapists have to touch people??? Shit!! I never thought of that until I actually spent time observing a physical therapist, which was a requirement for applying to a physical therapy school…thank God!! Massaging and rubbing on strangers. Forget all the schooling!!! I could have been a high class hooker and made a shitload more money. Problem was that I figured my parents wouldn’t approve. Prudes!!
Okay so I didn’t want to rub people for money. What could I do??? Fuck if I knew! I was completely and totally lost.
Here is what I decided to do. I wouldn’t tell anyone that I didn’t want to be a physical therapist, I would go ahead and transfer to a four-year university school, and I would enter a pre-physical therapy program to prepare academically for entering physical therapy school.
Makes sense right??? Made a hell of a lot of sense to me. At that point in my life I was pretty much equivalent to a demented circus monkey.
To be continued….
Chick out…
