Today is the birthday of the woman whom I call Mommy. Yes, I’m almost 42 years old and I still call my mother Mommy…get over it.
Allow me to introduce you to her….
She grew up in a holler just like Loretta Lynn and had to walk 2 miles to school…no joke!
She was born at home and weighed with chicken scales. Can we say hillbilly??
She met my daddy when she was dating his best friend. Yep, he stole her away from his best pal.
She was a secretary until I was born. This is back when secretaries still fetched coffee, wore skirts and heels and smoked at their desks.
She is the woman who brought me into the world and the one who can take me out of it and I know it.
She fought my natural curls for years then one day gave up and had my head sheared like a sheep.
She taught me to love books. Oh how I love books!!!
She urged to me follow my dreams. My dreams weren’t her dreams for me but she still urged me on.
She used to turn out all the lights at night and yell “Bloody bones!!!!” I would let loose a blood curdling scream then beg her to do it again.
She wore my ass out many times with a switch for misbehaving but was the first to give me a hug when I did well.
She taught me how to drive and never laughed at me when I wrecked the driver’s ed car.
She helped hold me together when my father was dying and I returned the favor when he passed away and she fell apart.
She’s wrecked 3 times in the past 4 years. She hit her house twice and her van with her truck once. All accidents happened in her driveway. I make fun of her for this…daily!
She used to paint Mrs. Butterworth syrup bottles and made hats for them.
She once dropped a 2L bottle of Pepsi then immediately opened it. She had to mop the floors and wash the walls of two rooms.
She tells me that neither of her children are her favorite but I know the truth. She loves me more…really she does!
She used to sew the most fashionable polyester outfits for me.
She asks me every time I talk to her if I have a cold…EVERY SINGLE TIME!
She has as crush on Simon Baker, star of The Mentalist.
She is addicted to her laptop.
She had the birds and bees talk with me when I was about thirteen. She told me to “keep my knees together and my skirt down” and that was it.
She told me that it wasn’t the end of the world when I failed Organic Chemistry in college. She was right…I’ve been a chemist for almost 20 years now.
She is the woman who my nephew calls by her first name and has for over 20 years now.
She makes the best biscuits and gravy in the world.
She can never remember the name of any movie…ever!
She is a Facebook voyeur.
She has no idea my blog exists because she would die of a heart attack if she read some of the things I write.
And finally….today is her birthday and I love her.
Chick out…
Allow me to introduce you to her….
She grew up in a holler just like Loretta Lynn and had to walk 2 miles to school…no joke!
She was born at home and weighed with chicken scales. Can we say hillbilly??
She met my daddy when she was dating his best friend. Yep, he stole her away from his best pal.
She was a secretary until I was born. This is back when secretaries still fetched coffee, wore skirts and heels and smoked at their desks.
She is the woman who brought me into the world and the one who can take me out of it and I know it.
She fought my natural curls for years then one day gave up and had my head sheared like a sheep.
She taught me to love books. Oh how I love books!!!
She urged to me follow my dreams. My dreams weren’t her dreams for me but she still urged me on.
She used to turn out all the lights at night and yell “Bloody bones!!!!” I would let loose a blood curdling scream then beg her to do it again.
She wore my ass out many times with a switch for misbehaving but was the first to give me a hug when I did well.
She taught me how to drive and never laughed at me when I wrecked the driver’s ed car.
She helped hold me together when my father was dying and I returned the favor when he passed away and she fell apart.
She’s wrecked 3 times in the past 4 years. She hit her house twice and her van with her truck once. All accidents happened in her driveway. I make fun of her for this…daily!
She used to paint Mrs. Butterworth syrup bottles and made hats for them.
She once dropped a 2L bottle of Pepsi then immediately opened it. She had to mop the floors and wash the walls of two rooms.
She tells me that neither of her children are her favorite but I know the truth. She loves me more…really she does!
She used to sew the most fashionable polyester outfits for me.
She asks me every time I talk to her if I have a cold…EVERY SINGLE TIME!
She has as crush on Simon Baker, star of The Mentalist.
She is addicted to her laptop.
She had the birds and bees talk with me when I was about thirteen. She told me to “keep my knees together and my skirt down” and that was it.
She told me that it wasn’t the end of the world when I failed Organic Chemistry in college. She was right…I’ve been a chemist for almost 20 years now.
She is the woman who my nephew calls by her first name and has for over 20 years now.
She makes the best biscuits and gravy in the world.
She can never remember the name of any movie…ever!
She is a Facebook voyeur.
She has no idea my blog exists because she would die of a heart attack if she read some of the things I write.
And finally….today is her birthday and I love her.
Chick out…
