One of my co-workers is a single man in his mid-30s (I’ll call him Archie) who appears to be trapped in the “friend zone”. He tries and tries to attract woman in that I’m-so-debonairre-you-will-swoon-for-me-baby way (sorta like Cary Grant in An Affair to Remember) but typically falls flat on his face. The girls only want to be friends thus…“friend zone”.
He has no idea how to talk to girls. In fact, he’s so bad at it that you would swear he’s having a conversation with his Sigma Chi “bro” instead of a woman. Today I’ve heard him have two very unimpressive conversation with women in the office. The first ended when he mentioned he can play ping pong left handed. Yeah…that’s a real turn on. The second ended when he was detail how eating sushi doensn’t provide a good base in the stomach onto which you can add lots of alcohol; you need to eat something more substantial. He then referred to his friend who is getting married very soon as “pious”.
I felt like breaking into this conversation at that point and saying, “Oh I’m sorry…just because he doesn’t want to participate in round after round of quarters or brag about winning a beer pong tournament he’s pious? No, I think he’s just mature. By the way…he’s getting married so he did indeed find a girl!! You, on the other hand, will be going home to your galpal Rosie Palm!” Instead I held my tongue and rolled my eyes.
Needless to say neither of the girls rushed off to change their panties because they were so turned on by his charming conversations. Honest to God, the boy could be a gold medalist in the “Cockblock Yourself” event of the 2009 Man Olympics.
A couple weeks ago Archie and a couple other guys from work went to Atlantic City for a weekend of gambling. I told them to let me know if he went up there and used a phrase like “bros before hoes” and I was pleasantly surprised when it was reported back to me that he didn’t. However, during the trip they decided they need to visit a strip club. While there Archie spent about $100 on lap dances in the “private room”. They said after the first one he strutted out mouthing the word “yeah” like he’s just ridden the stripper like a bucking bronco. Lord help me!!
What man in his mid-30s acts that way??? Archie does….bless his heart…..
Chick out…
He has no idea how to talk to girls. In fact, he’s so bad at it that you would swear he’s having a conversation with his Sigma Chi “bro” instead of a woman. Today I’ve heard him have two very unimpressive conversation with women in the office. The first ended when he mentioned he can play ping pong left handed. Yeah…that’s a real turn on. The second ended when he was detail how eating sushi doensn’t provide a good base in the stomach onto which you can add lots of alcohol; you need to eat something more substantial. He then referred to his friend who is getting married very soon as “pious”.
I felt like breaking into this conversation at that point and saying, “Oh I’m sorry…just because he doesn’t want to participate in round after round of quarters or brag about winning a beer pong tournament he’s pious? No, I think he’s just mature. By the way…he’s getting married so he did indeed find a girl!! You, on the other hand, will be going home to your galpal Rosie Palm!” Instead I held my tongue and rolled my eyes.
Needless to say neither of the girls rushed off to change their panties because they were so turned on by his charming conversations. Honest to God, the boy could be a gold medalist in the “Cockblock Yourself” event of the 2009 Man Olympics.
A couple weeks ago Archie and a couple other guys from work went to Atlantic City for a weekend of gambling. I told them to let me know if he went up there and used a phrase like “bros before hoes” and I was pleasantly surprised when it was reported back to me that he didn’t. However, during the trip they decided they need to visit a strip club. While there Archie spent about $100 on lap dances in the “private room”. They said after the first one he strutted out mouthing the word “yeah” like he’s just ridden the stripper like a bucking bronco. Lord help me!!
What man in his mid-30s acts that way??? Archie does….bless his heart…..
Chick out…
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