The African Ted Bundy??

This past weekend I went to one of my least favorite places in the world…Home Depot. I hate Home Depot but I’m not going to go into that here because that’s boring and has nothing to do with my story. However, for the remainder of the story I will refer to it as The Devil’s Crotch…that’s how much I hate it!!!

I specifically went to The Devil’s Crotch to pick up some plants for my backyard. I parked near a corral for carts (or buggies as we call them in the south) so I wouldn’t have to go into the store to get one. I drag the buggy out and head over to do some shopping.

As I round my car I see an employee of The Devil’s Crotch coming toward me. I smiled and said hello like I always do because I’m southern and we speak to everyone. This was his reply in a low, creepy voice with an African accent:

“I like yo figger.
Some li the boooone but some li da meat?

Translation:

“I like your figure.
Some like the bone but some like the meat.”

You’re probably wondering what I did next right? Well I just said, “Alrighty then”, walked on to the store, and bought my damned flowers.

What was I supposed to do? He reminded me of an African Ted Bundy. All he needed was a fake cast on his arm and a Volkswagen bug with the back seat taken out.

No thanks…he can like the meat all the likes he just can’t taste it.

Chick out…