When pigs fly....

Has anyone else noticed that it seems like everyone is sick right now? Anytime I hear a sneeze or cough I always ask, “Do you have a fever??!!?? If you do, you better stay away from me!!!”

Now, it’s not that I’m really concerned about their health. I’m more concerned about my health. Hey, I can be honest!! I DO NOT want the flu and my doctor’s office won’t have flu shots available for another week. At this point, all I can do is avoid sick people and wash my hands incessantly while singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”. Yes, I know I’m not five years old but I still do it!

The thought of getting the flu is enough to make me want to call in sick to work. On top of that we now have to contend with H1N1…I can get flu that orginated from a damned pig…a hog…a porcine princess!! My God someone up there really hates us.

There are so many people these days that still come to work sick and it’s utterly ridiculous. I know some individuals don’t have sympathetic bosses or work places but my office is over-the-top sympathetic. They will roll out the red carpet for us to stay home!! However, there are still people around here who think the office would have to close without them. I refer to them and those people who have an over exaggerated sense of themselves…either that or their a bunch of damned martyrs. They would drag themselves in here in the middle of the apocalypse! Fools!!

Here is a simple test to see if your job can do without you for a few days:

(1) Will the sun burn out if you don’t go to work?
(2) Will the infrastructure of the world collapse if you don’t go to work?
(3) Will mass flooding occur if you don’t go to work?
(4) Will huge balls of flame shoot from outer space and collide with the earth if you don’t go to work?

If you can answer yes to any of these questions then, by all means, go to work. If you can’t….keep you ass at home! You’re not that friggin’ important!

Good Lord, I’ve been known to stay home with a sunburn. Will I come into work if I have the flu? When pigs fly….

Chick out…