How I got my first bra

My father came from a pretty large family. He was one of eleven children. Eleven children!! How in the world did my grandmother do it??? Granted she had nothing on Michelle Duggar but all of her children were born before 1950 and at home. I think that’s pretty impressive.

Of those eleven children only three are left now. Unfortunately, two have passed with in the past 5 weeks...my aunt just before Labor Day and my uncle just last night. You would have to know my father’s side of the family to understand that they are maybe the most hilarious family in the world. Where do you think I got it???

They had a lot of hardship. Most were born before or during the depression. My grandfather was an abusive alcoholic. Several of my aunts and uncles were alcholics. The family is riddled with suicides. Doesn’t sound too festive, huh? Well many of them did pretty hilarious things…either by accident or intentionally.

Her are a few examples:

My aunt was and is still a terribly shy and backward woman. When she went on the first date with her now husband they went to a drive-in. She was too backward to tell him she needed to use the bathroom so while he was at the snackbar getting them some food she peed in her pocketbook. Yep…my aunt pissed in her purse.

My grandmother heard my father whistling as he was walking home one time and decided to jump out and scare him . She scared him alright. He statched up a chair sitting in the front yard and hit her over the head with it. He obviously didn’t hurt her too badly…she lived for another 40+ years afterward. (Note: I had never heard this story until my father died. Someone that grew up with him told us at the wake. We all had a much needed laugh.)

My aunt that died over Labor Day was unfortunate enough to be named Gary. Yes, Gary? She had a boys name and hated it. One year at the beginning of the school year she went in on the first day and was spelling her name Geary. Her teacher told her she was so stupid she couldn’t spell her own name. She never tried that little trick again.

My aunt bought home a chick in a paper bag from the fair one time. They told her it probably would live through the night. They were wrong. That chick grew into a rooting, tooting, crowing rooster. Unfortunately, she didn’t live on a farm so her rooster roosted on a kerosene heater in a shed out back and had the run of the yard…she lives in the middle of town.

My uncle that died last night was a master of the gag gift. His favorite was to wrap up a huge pair of panties. When I say huge, I mean huge…humongous...size 14. Many of my cousins received this gift for birthday gifts and bridal or baby showers. Not a traditional gift but one that everyone came to expect. He never gave me a huge pair of panties but he did give me my first bra. I think I was probably five or six years old. It was a yellow training bra. This was well before I had boobs so he got it for me as a joke.

So on this day I remember all my relatives that have passed but in particular my uncle who gave me my very first bra. How many girls can say that???

I know that right now my father, my grandparents, and all the rest of my family that has passed are celebrating his arrival. I wouldn’t doubt that he showed up with a huge pair of panties for every one of them.

Chick out...