No..no way..nu uh...

Tonight I will put my pajamas on backward and wrong side out.

I will dance around singing unintelligible chants,

I will dye my hair purple,

I will burn all my panties in a bonfire,

I will hop on one foot while sucking my thumb,

I will wear 3 bras to bed,

I will run through my neighborhood wearing nothing but leather chaps,

I will dance the hustle in the middle of my living room for 3 non-stop hours,

I will smear a dozen raw eggs on my feet, and

I will pierce my belly button with a Cheerio.

Why am I doing these things? I'm practicing hillbilly voodoo to keep the snow away.

Please Old Man Winter...I beg you to pack your icy, snowy bags and get the fuck out of town. I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!

Chick out...